Here’s my list of ways that I know it’s impossible to hide my motherhood, especially that the kids are still small. Can you relate to any of them?
1) The ideal supper time is 4 pm. In fact, you will count 3 pm as supper if it’s the best time to go to a restaurant after nap time. When making family plans, 5 pm seems late and a 7 pm dinner with the family is laughable.
2) Instead of swearing, you replace words with nonsense words ‘oh snickerdoodles!’ or ‘fudge!’ etc. And when you aren’t around the kids and use one of these words, other adults are confused and/or concerned.
3) You say poop a lot. And can use it very comfortably in a conversation, even to other adults. “Sure, when she finally has her poop we’ll be able to go. She’s a great pooper so shouldn’t be an issue”. You also examine poop way too much. Full on studying it like there will be an exam after (this helps us determine eating issues, illness etc. right? Or are we just crazy? 😉
4) Date night is now date hour and when you watch a movie together, a successful one is when you didn’t have to pause it at some point because a child woke. “Wow, great movie! We didn’t hit the pause button once! Score! High fives!”
5) Your blood is likely 50% coffee.
6) You laugh at and reference children’s shows. “Hey, that’s my cup. Swiper no swiping! Hahaha, see what I did there?”
7) Your heart swells at every new thing they do – a sense of pride over the simple things that become everything now. This doesn’t change as they grow older.