The back-to-school transition was difficult for me this year. I never want to see the summer holidays come to an end, and even though the Fall is arguably my most favourite time of the year, I knew it meant big changes.
My husband was off all summer so back-to-school also marked back-to-work for him.
My son heads into Grade 2 this year and while there isn’t much of a change in his schedule, I still miss him when he’s gone.
And today, my daughter, my baby, had her first day of JK.
She’s been to preschool before and JK in this area is still only half-days but the fact that every day I am dropping off two school aged children is new to me. And it’s causing me to be emotional.
Last week I had some tricky days where I felt an emptiness. I missed my family. Today, my confident, sweet little girl slowly walked into the playground and had little hesitation as she entered her school career. When she turned to look at us, she was doing nothing but smiling. She loved the day and is looking forward to going back. This makes me happy.
The fact is, she was ready. It’s a huge milestone but one that she is celebrating. And despite my difficulties, I am too. It’s hard not to be excited for them.
However, I will miss our carefree time together. I miss my family.
This is not meant to sound ungrateful for the time that I am afforded with them. For 7 years, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom, a title I wear with pride. And every year we try to chip away more time as a family, which is why my husband took the summer off.
I am grateful for every extra day we have together as a family, time that at one point I wasn’t sure we were always going to have. It’s just the adjustment is still new for me.
People ask me how I will fill my new found time. That’s the easy part. With writing, baking, house to-do lists, errands, appointments and hopefully gym time I probably could fill a full day alone. But boredom isn’t my issue.
My heart, with each change that we experience, is always the last to adjust. The rational part of me is accepting of my aging children and our new schedules, although I’ll miss the lack of routine the summer afforded us. However, I see my children happy and thriving and I’m excited for the new chapters that I will experience as well.
But here sits my heart. A little heavier than usual. Forcing my body into tears when I know better. But my heart is resilient, and loves seeing the happiness and joy on the faces of my children.
When I’m sitting and typing in silence with my coffee, while the kids are at school, I will reflect warmly on our memories but look with excitement to our future. Even if I have to dot my eyes with a Kleenex every so often.
Lovely post! Thanks for sharing.
🙂
We should do coffee in a couple weeks when I’m out of regular work again!
That’s really sweet. It’s so nice that your daughter did well. Makes it easier on us you know?
Such a mix of bittersweet emotions isn’t it? So true…our hearts are always the last to adjust. So well put.
D.
Awww. Lovely post. I know how you feel. Sometimes I just want to hug em tight and not let go…