Well, let’s face it – parenting is hard period at times. But I can handle the tantrums, the mess, the mountains of poop – because in exchange I get the kisses, the cuddles, the humour, the joy. But when it comes to my children’s emotional needs and their little hearts, I’m a wreck.
After 2 weeks of intense holidays (hosting, entertaining, traveling, visiting, weird diets, weird sleep, and major playing for the kids) I knew it would be hard getting the kids back on track when it was all over.
Preschool started again this week – it’s only 3 mornings a week. Over the holidays we talked about school, he talked about school and was very happy Monday morning to go back. Drop off was a breeze, the regular kiss,hug and ‘see ya’ mom happened. The usual, he couldn’t wait for me to go. School has been a very positive experience.
Then I went for pick up, and there my little guy was – the big boy image I had earlier in the day reverted to remind me that he is a young 3 year old who still sometimes needs his mommy – crying and saying he wants to go home. It broke my heart.
But really, I knew it was coming. Of course he wanted to go home, home has had mommy, daddy and a large amount of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents around it for 2 weeks. At home he asked to see my parents (who had just left that day) multiple times.
Today we loaded back up, talked yesterday about the fun stuff he was going to do, and headed to school. No fights, no arguing, we loaded in the van with a ‘let’s go’. Then on the way I started to hear ‘I want to go home’. I knew it would be rough. Sure enough, tears when we walked in. I got out fast, and waited a few minutes in the van. Another parent was kind enough on her way out to let me know he had stopped while she was in there.
Now I wait. I wait until 11:30 when I can go get him and bring him home and hug him and prove to him that I will come back every time I drop him off. My heart aches, my stomach is in knots thinking the phone will ring any minute to go get him.
Parenting sucks. Because no matter how much you try to protect your kids or give them a world of experience, you can stop a little broken heart. And you learn quickly your heart is forever tied to that little heart and you will always feel their pain, on top of your own.
I guess this much love for another being will do that to you.
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