All summer I had September 6 in my head. When people asked when school started I said September 6. Everything was planned around it starting on Thursday, September 6. When we had a play date on Friday, I said to my friend “maybe we can do another early in the week before school”. My teacher-sister asked “why is it September 6? No one is starting September 6” and since she’s in a difference school board I said ‘well WE are. Hooray for us’.
Another friend of mine messaged me on Sunday and suggested we meet at the school on Tuesday to drop the kids off. I laughed and, because I’m a cocky smart a$$, messaged back ‘sure, if you mean Thursday’ snicker snicker snicker. My friend must be confused.
Then she messaged me back ‘um. Tuesday’.
I says pardon?
She sent me the school board link. September 4. I go to the school website (which I was JUST on to get drop off info). September 4.
My entire summer shrank in an instant. I lost 2 full days. My long weekend was going to merge right into the start of school. I may be prepared with all of my items purchased but I am in no way emotionally ready.
He starts grade 1 this year, and to add fuel to my poor mama heart fire, it’s the first time I will experience full days.
On top of missing him and making plans during the day with out him, I get to worry that he’s eating enough, and happy and learning and having fun. All when I can’t help guide him or console him.
Some will roll their eyes. I’m sure I’m a ‘helicopter’ mom somewhere to them. It’s not that I want him attached via leash to me. It’s that I will genuinely miss him. I know he’ll do well – but when? Right away? What if he’s sad?
When his heart breaks mine shatters.
I’ve been a stay at home mom with him for nearly 6 years. Most of my days are designed around each of my kids being with me. Where we go, when we do it. That’s all about to change.
So Thursday would have been nice. Instead, I wake up tomorrow with a grade 1 guy. Yes, he seems prepared and happy and ready. He’s anxious to go, ready to see his friends and since we don’t talk about our worries around him he seems pretty oblivious to what’s ahead.
Meanwhile, I’m a mess. Everything is about to change. Yes, I know he’ll be fine. Yes, logically I know he’s not the first kid to do this and I will be fine. I have no doubt my days will be plenty busy and my daughter and I will continue having our own adventures.
But no one prepares us as parents for letting go of our kids, even if in some small way. I’m not prepared. And truthfully? I wouldn’t have been prepared come Thursday either.
I know exactly how you feel. Our school started the 2nd week of August, and my kiddos are 3rd, 5th, 7th, and 9th. It never gets easier for my heart. Best wishes for a wonderful year for your kiddos!
I broke down today. My little guy starts school officially “Friday” as he’s starting JK he only has a few days left with me. We had our last official “day time play-date” this week. Now I did have him in pre-school for an easier transition but the fact he’s on a school bus, in a big new school I’m a bit heart crushed and had a bit of a melt down this morning thinking of it but everyone dose it and it’s normal. (well that’s what I keep telling myself) HUGS all moms feel the same one way or another 😉 thanks for sharing!!
Crystal
I know how you feel. I felt that way too when my oldest started grade 1 and she’s going into grade 10 this year!! And yes, as I said on twitter, I’ve had them for the last 6 years all the time while homeschooling. It’s going to be tough, but we can do it. And they can do it too!!
Courage for you mom!
I’m sorry I burst your bubble 🙁 I could use another month but then I also think I’ll never be ready. I think he is but it’ll probably take me more time to adjust
It’s always hardest for the Moms. My kids started full days at 4 in the French program and they just seemed too little. But they were totally fine and I was always crushed that they were annoyed when I came to pick them up because they were having too much fun. They grow so fast and are more resilient than we are. Good luck tomorrow!
Oh I feel for you – what a shock! Actually, I felt my heart race as I read this post. I’m going back to work tomorrow as a teacher returning from maternity leave with kindergartener returning to school. No one is ready, ever.
I wish you all good luck tomorrow!
Aw you guys will be fine at the start of this adventure! Have a great day tomorrow.
And now maybe i’m teary….even though I was trying to be so strong!! My oldest starts full day JK tomorrow. I know how you’re feeling. Let’s hope that they love it and they feel confident and safe there 🙂
Good luck this morning, mama!
Sending over a virtual hug! Hope it went well this morning! My kids started last week (French board) and it wasn’t easy, still isn’t today! Full days JK and Gr. 1 — I just keep repeating to myself that I’ve prepared them for this, they are ready and they’ll be fine (even if I’m not!)
Sniff! I just dropped A off at her first day of preschool (we’re transitioning this week, so only 2 hours today, half day tomorrow and then a full day on Thursday!) Although she’s been in part-time daycare for 2 years now, my heart is still breaking to see her all alone in a big classroom. She just looked at me with those quiet, sad eyes, and it was all I could do not to start bawling..lol! Hugs to you during this transition. I’m definitely feeling it too, even though I know 3 days/week preschool isn’t the same as Grade 1!!