Preschool Panic

I am a mess.  I wish I could say a hot mess, but I don’t think I’m even that.  Just a mess. 

The Boy, my first born, my original baby, starts preschool tomorrow am.  I am having panic attacks.  I am nervous for him.  For me.  We had an orientation night, just parents, last night, and it reconfirmed why we chose this school – it’s great.  The teachers and parent volunteers seem wonderful, it’s clean, well organized and most importantly fun.  When they told us not to send them in really ‘good’ clothes because they will get messy, I knew it was going to be a wonderful place.

As they talked about themes, and field trips and the daily routine, I kept thinking how much fun my son will have.  But, selfishly, I don’t want him to go.

I don’t want him to worry that I’m not coming back.  To worry about other kids.  To feel stressed in any way. 

And prior to February of this year, it had been just him and I during the day for over 2 years.  We are a team!

Now, I am sending him off, alone, into the world.  In my heart of hearts, I know this is right.  It’s a great thing for him, he’ll have fun.  But how do I overcome the tears during the first few days?  Mine mostly, but what if he doesn’t like it.  Doesn’t want to go back? 

What maybe doesn’t help is that my husband is in more of a fret than I am.  We are both going to be a mess! We need one of us to say ‘bah, he’s fine, don’t worry about it’.

We are talking very positively about school, don’t get me wrong.  My son doesn’t know we’re feeling this way.  We act all excited and pretend play with his little people that we are dropping him off, he has fun, we pick him up.  He is excited about his new shoes and backpack.

But my little boy is growing up. And I don’t like it.

Hand me the paper bag please….