Browsing for Father’s Day cards the other day (yes, I still support Hallmark! While I usually have the kids’ draw/colour/paint their own cards for various occassions, when looking for something to my husband from me etc. I buy them) I realized that the choices were slim.
I was disappointed to see so many jokes about farting, ‘pulling fingers’, dad-incompetance and so on. There were the traditional cards with tools on them, beer on them, some funny ones and of course one that had a baseball reference that won me over. But is fatherhood really about bodily functions and keeping secrets from mom? I think not.
My own father was far more involved in our lives than I think I knew at the time. He was a tradesman but had varying time off depending on the work availability and my mom worked in a corporate world. He often cooked, baked and was the one who toilet trained us and taught us to tie our shoes.
Having children of my own now, my husband has once again shown me that fatherhood is beyond stereotypes. It’s not the potty humour, silly faces and treats that make him a good father (although, those things are involved and do make for some fun times!) it’s the fact that he is a role model, that he provides unconditional love to his children and the fact that our kids know, by words, by touch and by sense, how much he loves them.
My husband lives for our children, I know this. I see the pain of fear on his face when they fall and get hurt. The nervousness in his body when they try something new and the sadness, honest sadness, when he leaves us in the morning to go to work.
Fatherhood isn’t a chore. It’s not a duty. It’s a loving title. I’ve seen strong men wear this title.
To my dad and my husband Happy Father’s Day. And thank you.
I’m so glad you wrote this. I think it’s so important to encourage men when they are good husbands and fathers rather than tear them down. A little good-natured teasing is fun, but it’s sad that there has been this mentality swing to fathers being “useless”. Hopefully, one day we’ll live in a world that views both parents as essential and capable – at the same time.
thanks Karen, I see far too many comments/articles about how men are ‘useless’ or ‘clueless’ – while in some cases I would say both my husband and I are clueless 😉 for the most part he is a smart, wonderful role model.