Gillian’s Guest Post: There’s no way around it – it’s about the Potty

Today we are kicking off a series of guest posts by putting this blog right in the toilet – literally.  Gillian has been on a similar path that I was, potty training, and is in need of some advice.  Thanks Gillian for sharing – it’s a topic many parents can relate too!

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Originally written March 27, 2010
That’s not just a clever title. There was no previous post entitled Potty Training #1. This post is about poo. Let’s just get that out in the open right now. And I promise you, I’m holding nothing back. This was a big day in our family and I feel the need to share. Read on if you dare, you have been warned.

Picture it: Vancouver, this afternoon. Costco seasonal furniture aisle. The little man begins to walk a bit funny, and Mr. Awesome inquires if he has to go pee. He claims he does, so Mr. Awesome grabs the folding potty seat and the boy and marches off to the restroom. The little miss and I continue our wandering, heading over to the produce section. I get a text message from my darling husband with only two words, but these two words would cause crippling panic in any parent alive.

CODE BROWN!!!

Before we go any further into this tale, let me provide a little background. The little man has been pretty successfully peeing on the potty for a couple of months now with a few accidents here and there. He has, however, refused to poo in the potty. He would prefer to drop a grenade in his underpants and then pretend it hasn’t happened until we notice the bulge or smell the aroma. We diligently explain to him that poop should go in the potty, dump it in and let him flush, but the message just wasn’t getting through. The good news was that they were always fairly solid and dropped into the toilet with very little mess.

Until yesterday.

For the first time ever, the little man had what Mr. Awesome refers to as “soup bum”. My mum had him over at her house yesterday and God Bless Nang Nang yet again, she must have changed him five times in the course of the two hours he was there.

We thought the tide had turned and didn’t even hesitate as we set out on our bi-weekly (I’ll admit it, sometimes weekly) trip to Costco.

So, given the events of yesterday, CODE BROWN took on a whole new meaning. Given that Mr. Awesome had gone equipped with only the toilet seat, he had already done his part in cleaning up the mess. It was then my job to take the little man back to the bathroom to put on his new underpants.

Fast forward a little. Mr. Awesome and I have now each made TWO trips into the Costco bathroom, the little man is in new underpants AND pants, and we have not actually had anything happen IN the toilet. We are now trying to finish our trip as fast as humanly possible, weaving in and out through the shopping cart traffic jam that is Costco on a Saturday.

We’re now in frozen foods. Once again, the panicked expression crossed the little man’s face. Mr. Awesome was done by this point and flat-out refused to go a third time. It was my turn and I was up to the challenge.

Given the inactivity on the toilet so far and the repeated false starts, I was pretty sure if I waited long enough we would see some action. My little man perched on his Diego folding potty seat and we waited. I offered lots of encouragement and we discussed the situation in as much detail as you can with an almost three year old.

I am sure the woman in the stall next to us was silently dying inside. This is what she would have heard:
“That’s it buddy, you can do it!”
“Come on sweetie, just try and get it out.”
“Oh! There you go, that’s right, you can do it!”
“I can see it sweetie, come on, get it out!”
“That’s so awesome buddy, I’ll show you when you’re done!”
“YEAH! Buddy, you did it! You pooped on the potty!”

(I was reminded of the Austin Powers scene in the bathroom where Austin says “Who does #2 work for?” and Tom Arnold cheers him on with “That’s right Buddy, you show that turd who’s boss!”)

My little man pooped on the potty today and yes, maybe I’ve set my standards lower over the last three years, but man was I proud. He repeated the miracle when we got home, and seems to get just how much better it is than the trouser bombs he usually manufactures.

Never one to count my chickens before they’ve hatched, I will not assume we have now turned a corner in the potty training saga. We will see what happens tomorrow. 
 
**Update: Since writing that post, Gillian has this update:
 
Fast forward to August 2010 – I think I can count on one hand the number of times he has pooped on the potty since that dramatic day. We try and we try, but we now know that at some point EVERY day we will be dealing with poop. It’s not that I accept it, I think I’ve just been worn down slowly over the last eight months. Maybe the FBI should talk to my son about how to break witnesses over a long period of time. He’s an absolute master. At this point I would give him just about anything if he would JUST POOP ON THE POTTY. Seriously, anything.

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My name is Gillian. I’m a wife, a mother, a career woman…and trying to juggle the fun that comes with all three! My husband (hereafter to be named Mr. Awesome) and I have two kids, a three year old boy and a ten month old girl. I’m currently on maternity leave from a marketing job with a Canadian non-profit organization. I love my job. I love the organization, the people, the work I do. I joined Weight Watchers in December 2009 and reached my goal at the end of July, after losing 65lbs. It’s been an awesome journey and I literally have a whole new lease on life. Posts on my blog are musings about life in general, rants about the kids not sleeping, confessions of naughty eating slips…anything and everything that makes up this awesome life.