4 years ago today, you entered our lives and changed everything. We were no longer a unit of 2. No longer attached to only ourselves and each other.
You changed that. Our attachment to you was so intense it was surprising. We didn’t know love as strongly as we did until you were placed on my chest and we met you.
Unlike your sister, we didn’t know if you’d be a boy or a girl. We waited. And the wait was hard. You grew very comfortable in my belly, waiting to come out. After an induction and 2 hours of pushing, your poor little (large) head just wouldn’t budge.
When the doctor came in and showed me the vacuum and said that if you didn’t come out in 15 minutes he’d use it, I was determined. So, I willed you out. And out you came.
9 pounds of life. Of sweet life.
And we changed. Our hearts swelled. Our desire to protect you was instant.
Over the years we watched you grow. You explore the world with hesitation, but with enthusiasm. You love music and you make us laugh. You could throw and hit a baseball so young and your love for the game is adorable.
I don’t want you to be fearful of the world. I know you miss me when I’m gone, because I miss you too. I don’t want you to be angry at the world. But I know how sometimes everything must seem so frustrating. But you are strong. And sweet. And brilliant. It will be ok.
For 4 years I’ve been teaching you about life. But what you may not know is that you’ve taught me as well. We both have much more to learn, but I wouldn’t want to learn it with anyone but you.
At 4 you still hold my hand, and I hold yours. I realize that yours is not quite as little as it once was. Please don’t ever let go of my hand. But understand that sometimes I have to let go of yours.
Your mommy and daddy love you, sweet baby boy.
Keep dancing.
Keep playing.
Keep loving.
Keep knowing.
Happy Birthday sweet baby boy
{insert melting heart here!}
*sniffle* What a lovely birthday wish.
I have tears. What a wonderful post and Happy Birthday to your little boy.
Beautiful post.
That was beautiful. As happy and exciting as it is to see them grow up, I still find it sad that it goes by so quickly.
You captured the essence of love for a child so beautifully! It’s amazing, that first second when you realize how overwhelmingly deep your feelings and capacity for love can be! And they grow up quickly.
ahhh so sweet! Sniffle. I remember when my boy turned 4. And now he is 9 and I want to cry almost daily when I look at him. I miss my little boy. Of course I still have M but he doesn’t like to be snuggled. Hopefully D will enjoy snuggling.
I remember your reading last year at BOLO. I love that an event like that gives us the chance to really hear the voice behind the words. Ever since, I can “hear” your posts in your voice now. Sad I missed you this year. 🙁