After 27 months, I decided at the beginning of the week that it was time to wean the baby toddler.
We had a beautiful nursing relationship. She was my second so my personal comfort level was different. Unlike her brother who was a lazy latcher, tongue tied, and slow nurser (sessions were typically 45 minutes) she was speedy and efficient. Some feeds would barely be 10 or 15 minutes but she was plenty satisfied.
Similarily to her brother, she rejected one of my breasts. At first it seemed like I wouldn’t have that trouble, but slowly as weeks went on she showed the same favouritism he had, and eventually it wasn’t making her happy to even try it. So, as I had with my oldest, I let it go.
I nursed on demand. In the middle of the night. Any time during the day. For comfort. For falling asleep. For boredom. I nursed.
She affectionately called it ‘do-dos’ and would commonly be heard demanding them.
But the day came that she was still up multiple times a night demanding it (I tried cutting it out in the middle of the night for a week and that didn’t work for either of us well). She was moody during the day about it – if I said no, she was mad.
I’m happy I waited. Recently when a quick flu bug hit, I was more than happy that she was nursing since she was so tired and otherwise eating little. These were the moments that extended nursing rocked. When they were sick, or we were away and needed calming or for comfort.
But I felt it was time. And so we started. It wasn’t easy. My stubborn girl yelled and begged and sobbed at first. Which in turn made me sob. We simply woke up one morning, had a final nurse and I whispered to her that do-dos would soon be done, and that I loved her.
It wasn’t until later, when she asked again, that she realized what was happening. Going to sleep was hardest and even now, after a week, she still is skipping naps. Her bedtime routine has had to change completely, instead of our usually nurse and snuggle in the dark in her bed, she wants to be held and rocked in a different room with her bedtime song on. It’s been an adjustment for us all.
But her sleep is better. And her temperment when she is upset is better. And she doesn’t ask for it anymore.
She now asks to pick at my belly button, something she did while nursing and now carries on for comfort. And for now I’m okay with that.
Nursing to me was a beautiful thing. A bond, a convenience, something I’ve done for 4 years combined with my children.
I still feel a bit sad, knowing that this is likely the last child I will nurse. When I come home or when we lie down to sleep I miss it. I remember her being a small little baby in my arms and I was the only one able to provide her what she needed.
I know she still needs me, just in a different way.
Aw, that’s so sweet… I can totally relate, even when you know it’s the right time it’s still very bittersweet letting go of nursing. I did it at different times for all my four, and even with O at almost 3 years old it was still emotional.
Good for you for keeping it up for so long. Nursing a toddler can be wonderful but it can also be exhausting and demanding in a totally different way. Congratulations on sticking with it for so long, you did a great job Mama!
Thanks Maranda – the selfish part of me is what is missing it – the bond, the ‘only I can do this’ feeling 😉
I can relate too, to your sense of loss. It’s nice to read, actually, that there are others out there. I’m busing #3 now & hubby’s wants me to stop soon. Let’s face it: at least in my experience babies/kids sleep better when there’s no more boobie to wake up for! But I am not ready, and neither is she. Weaning has felt forced in my past, and with this one, I want to feel right about it. You sound totally at peace, even if you’ve lost something, and I’m happy for you and your daughter for that.
Breastfeeding has been a special privilege in my life, and it’s something I’ll remember so fondly when it’s all said and done. (Not to mention pride for the years of healthy eating I gave to my babies!)
I feel at peace. I’m proud, happy, and it was such a great experience. I feel lucky to have such positive memories about it.
Oh so bittersweet…I had to tear up a little. Such a lovely relationship and a special time.
Oops. Problem using a smart phone to comment. I’m not busing #3, I’m nursing her. Big difference!
I felt the wet eyes too. I agree with the moms about being bittersweet, and weaning when its right for both of you and not being forced. I’m glad I peeked in and read this. I’m a mom of 4 kids, FF the first three and decided to give bf a try and she is going to be 17 months and shows no sign of weaning. I know my time of weaning will come I hope I’m ready for it.
Keva, that’s awesome – I’m not sure if we are ever truly ready for it 😉
I still have mixed feelings from weaning my son at 16 months. It seemed like perfect timing at the time but part of me thinks that maybe I should have held on for a little longer or should have built my supply up again. I miss that special bond 🙂 This is beautiful – kudos to you!
I’m not sure, since she’s my last, I will ever think there was a ‘best’ time. Even a week later I am wondering if I should have kept going, even though in my heart of hearts, it was time
((hug))
thanks Annie.
Hi new here! We just night weaned our two year old – I’ve kept a single day feed which she can have on the sofa. I had previously tried to reduce her feeds when she was 9 months and again at 19 months. Each time she became hysterical and at 9 months she actually started biting me (and breaking my skin!). This time, I cried for an entire week before our long weekend of night weaning and there was one hour of tears on one night and that was it (we’re still co-sleeping). It’s weird how they take it so well? Bittersweet.
I tried to night wean her. It wasn’t happening. You’re right, they take it better than we think. It certainly was about me. But I’m ok with that 😉
Beautiful post. I nursed my one and only for quite a long time as well. When I stopped nursing it was because it seemed the right time for him. He was only nursing a couple of times a day, and was taking to cow’s milk well. Still it was hard to let go of that closeness that we had while nursing. He’s not much of a snuggler, my guy, so I still miss it. That’s motherhood though isn’t it? The special joys that we are priviledged to be a part of are all too brief – thankfully they are also many.
I feel so much better having read all this. I just tried to get my little sweetie (16 months) off the breast – I lasted all of one day and then put her back on, I just love that closeness and would have missed it so much. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one to feel this way.
you are not alone. Good for you for realizing you weren’t ready. enjoy this time 😉 there are moments when I really really miss it.