Actual thoughts while at Costco

Here’s a transcript from my brain as I make a Costco run. This is basically identical for every Costco trip I make. Same for you?

I got here early so it shouldn’t be too busy. Awwww yeah, parking. It will be fine!

Wait. Why is there a line up to get past the card/coupon guy? Oh, just slow. Of course. 

Oh no, there are like four carts stopped at the entry. Uggg the cashews aren’t that good of a price! Move on!

*Internally screaming*

Ok, skipping the kitchen aisle. I don’t need another pan. 

Skipping the cleaning aisle. Oh wait. Do we need garbage bags? No, no. We don’t need them. Why didn’t I make a list?

Bread! So cheap! Three for basically the same price as one! But I barely used up half a loaf this week. I can use the freezer! No wait, I think I have some from 8 months ago. Bad idea. I don’t need bread. 

I will get these breakfast rounds. Yum. 

Is there a good deal on this stuff? Why are all the carts stopped here? Nope. No deal. 

*Internally screaming*

Walk away from the cheese Becky. We don’t need that much Boursin again. 

This patio set is nice. No! Back to groceries. 

Do I want the giant bag of bananas? Forget it. Someone is blocking access to them.

*Internally screaming*

Fridge section!

I’m so cold! Ok, this will be quick. Double the milk. It’s not a great deal but I’m here. Ohhhh 6 heads of romaine lettuce for a steal. We can eat a lot of salad this week. 

Skip that aisle. 

Skip that. 

I can’t get out of the aisle because of the carts and people reading the entire label on the box. 

*Internally screaming*

That drinkable yogurt for the kids is so cheap. But I told them I wasn’t buying it anymore because of the sugar. Ug, fine, it’s cheap and it can be a treat. After school. Every day. Dammit. Whatever.

Coffee aisle! This is perfect. This is why I come hear. This is worth it. Giant bag of fair trade coffee and it’s a dark roast at such a great price. Yum. 

This is fine, definitely worth it. Why is that person blocking the end of the aisle?

Oh, there’s a food station. Lady, it’s crackers, grab one and go. Come on. 

*Internally screaming*

Okay, don’t need cereal. Hmmmm. The summer pack of ketchup, mustard, relish and mayo looks like a good buy. No! It’s a trap! We never use all that relish! 

Almonds. Good. Apple sauce in the jar is such a good buy. No wait, the kids have decided they don’t love apple sauce any more. What do they even eat? I’m not just letting them drink those yogurts. They need to try more things. We feed them plenty of healthy food. Applesauce is so plain! 

Ohhh maple syrup. Yes. 

The kids can live on waffles I guess. 

Ugggg vanilla is so expensive. Remember when it was $6.99 at Costco? Why didn’t I buy 20 bottles!?

*sends text to husband complaining that vanilla is still expensive*

Ok, I’m doing well. Let’s just browse a few more aisles then head to the books where I’m happy. 

Why are these carts in the middle of the aisle. This aisle is too small for that. 

*internally screaming*

Whoa! That’s a great price for Epsom salts. 

Why did I just say that out loud to myself? When did I start to care about Epsom Salts so much? I feel really old. Whatever, they’re going in my cart. 

Let’s look at the clothes quickly. That one pair of pants that I got for the eldest last time fit perfectly. I should get the other colours. Or not. They don’t have any more. Of course. 

Nothing of interest here. Time to look at the books. 

It’s hard to see the books because of the people and their carts. 

*Internally screams*

Ok, that’s it. I’m out. Check out time. The line isn’t too bad! That feels like a win! Hot dog? Oh no, that line is really bad. Forget it. There’s no where to sit anyway. I should go home for lunch and make a salad. I have enough lettuce to use up.

Hmmmm. They have a bunch of giant cooler bags at the check out line. I like the looks of those! My parents have one and it’s great. I’ll buy it. I’m sure I’ll always remember to leave it in the car so I can use it for groceries and my next Costco trip. 

Done and done. Oh wait. What should I make for supper? Did I get nothing that is supper-ish other than lettuce? Dammit. 

*Internally screams*