Ever since I became a parent, the number one conversation between fellow parents is about sleep. Are we getting enough? Is baby getting enough? Who has it worse? Should we change sleep habits? And sleep training, which is a whole can of worms.
Early on, it was clear that we wanted sleep and weren’t going to fight for it. In fact, it was my husband who first introduced bed sharing when my oldest was a baby. We all seemed to sleep better together. Nursing was easier. Naturally, we took safety precautions – I didn’t wear buttons, zippers or strings on my pyjamas. Both my husband and I had different blankets (so one wouldn’t pull it up), we eliminated too many pillows and so on.
Over the years, this sleep arrangement didn’t change much, just altered when we had our second child. And as the children get older, and we are finding they sleep longer and better, we remain fairly stress free about sleep.
Once upon a time, if asked if my children were good sleepers, I’d say yes. However, by some definitions, they really aren’t. They wake looking for us, want us to cuddle, don’t sleep 12 hours straight. But given the fact that we try not to stress about snuggles or restless nights, I don’t look back to sleep as a terrible thing.
I read books about sleep training and what to do (although, in truth, crying it out was never an option for us) but in the end, nothing was exactly what my children needed – or what we wanted. So we adjusted how we needed to.
We’ve all been there. Sleep comes up in our parenting careers on a constant basis, and at many ages. Sometimes, it’s never enough and other times there is nothing better than a warm snuggle from your child while half asleep.
This post isn’t about what’s right or wrong – it’s about ensuring that you define it yourself. Don’t do what others are doing if it doesn’t work for you, change only what you feel you need to change.
Eventually, we know we will reclaim our nights, but for now, the goal remains the same for us all – maximum amount of sleep possible.
How do you handle sleep stress? Is it a hot button issue?
2.5 yrs old and still not sleeping through the night. But we did shared sleep as well, and now that he’s moved to his own room (with a futon mattress on the floor) when he wakes up all it takes is his mom sleepily dragging herself in there where the two of them fall asleep again.
Other parents and almost all non-parents don’t get it (“He’ll never stop if you keep going in”) but it works for us. Nobody gets stressed, I only wake up for a brief moment and go back to sleep; wife wakes up for almost as brief a moment and the two of them are back to sleep.
Not a hot button issue; both parents are fine with this arrangement. And when the next child comes along we’ll probably take that final step of coaxing him away from it (to begin with, he’ll have to suffer with some daddy time).
I need to subscribe to your blog, because I keep missing great posts! 🙂