Here’s my list of ways that I know it’s impossible to hide my motherhood, especially that the kids are still small. Can you relate to any of them?
1) The ideal supper time is 4 pm. In fact, you will count 3 pm as supper if it’s the best time to go to a restaurant after nap time. When making family plans, 5 pm seems late and a 7 pm dinner with the family is laughable.
2) Instead of swearing, you replace words with nonsense words ‘oh snickerdoodles!’ or ‘fudge!’ etc. And when you aren’t around the kids and use one of these words, other adults are confused and/or concerned.
3) You say poop a lot. And can use it very comfortably in a conversation, even to other adults. “Sure, when she finally has her poop we’ll be able to go. She’s a great pooper so shouldn’t be an issue”. You also examine poop way too much. Full on studying it like there will be an exam after (this helps us determine eating issues, illness etc. right? Or are we just crazy? 😉
4) Date night is now date hour and when you watch a movie together, a successful one is when you didn’t have to pause it at some point because a child woke. “Wow, great movie! We didn’t hit the pause button once! Score! High fives!”
5) Your blood is likely 50% coffee.
6) You laugh at and reference children’s shows. “Hey, that’s my cup. Swiper no swiping! Hahaha, see what I did there?”
7) Your heart swells at every new thing they do – a sense of pride over the simple things that become everything now. This doesn’t change as they grow older.
Love this. I once asked a poop question to a childless friend in front of our other childless friends. When they all look at me strangely the only comeback I had was “sorry, I’m a mom”. And I’m guilty of quoting the shows all the time. Great list!
Alicia, the best convo we had was with a bunch of non-parents about Elf on the Shelf. It was hilarious trying to explain it without sounding crazy (and that’s impossible! lol)
LOL! Funny. “Shitake mushrooms” is a favourite substitute word for me. Haha, date hour. Our first ‘date’ after kids was to file taxes and go out for sushi, we were home by 5:00! And I didn’t drink coffee until I was pregnant with DS2. I needed it to survive the second pregnancy!
Happy New Year Rebecca!
We had friends invite us to dinner at 7 a couple of weeks ago (the whole family) and Joe replied ‘dear, childless, Evan’
I am resisting the 4pm dinner time… the kids would love it, but as a mom this is a logistical nightmare for me! But you’re bang on for the rest of it… I probably should have paid more attention to point #2 though, because my daughter at age 3 looked at me one day when I asked her for the 351st time to stop doing something, and said, “Mommy, you’re an a**hole.” My husband couldn’t stop laughing.