Every so often I take what is called a Forgiving Day. It’s something I randomly made up and while it sounds like I spend the entire day forgiving those who have somehow wronged me, that’s not the case.
Instead, a Forgiving Day is when I forgive myself.
I know I need to take a Forgiving Day because I can feel the anxious pit that sits heavy in my stomach. Or the weight of my eyes indicates that I am more tired than I should be. I’m often extra emotional and I take things to heart more. It’s often paired with being overtired.
My Forgiving Day is a Free Pass to myself. I also call it a duff day sometimes. I take the day to not worry about the sweeping or the emails I need to catch up on. It’s a day that I will be lazy, let the kids get away with more than usual (want to watch another television show? Sure), and it means I’ll crawl into bed earlier than usual. While I work in equal partnership with my husband when it comes to household chores, my Forgiving Day just means that I won’t stress about what needs to be done.
I’m not looking for absolution for my lack of ambition or sudden inability to tackle the to-do list from my children, my husband or my friends.
I’m looking for it from myself.
Last night, I was woken in the middle of the night by my daughter who wanted her shoes from the yellow bin (which doesn’t exist) and for all of the grass in her room to disappear (her talking in her sleep went to new levels, clearly). The disrupted sleep was followed by an early morning appointment, then deadlines and catching up on some work around the house. I managed to run around with the kids playing soccer after school, but all signs point to my being overtired and in need of rest.
So today is a Forgiving Day. I’ve made the call. I’ll have a bubble bath when the kids are asleep and crawl into bed shortly thereafter. I won’t worry about what wasn’t done, and instead focus on tomorrow being a fresh new day. I’m guaranteed to feel better.
Trust me, you deserve a Forgiving Day once and a while too.
Yup. I just cancelled a gym date for the morning because I’ve had a headache for two days, physio that left my arms aching today, and some kind of abdominal pain that’s probably not cancer (right?). I thought about pushing through, and that made me feel like crying. I’m a grown-up, and I’m not on an episode of The Biggest Loser. I’m allowed to let myself off the hook.
exactly! I think sometimes we get caught up in what we think we should be doing, or how it’s perceived that we forget that taking time for ourselves, saying no, stopping a cycle is important. I hope you feel better soon and get back to your regular routine when you can 😉
I like it Becky! In a time when we all seem to be juggling 204+ balls at once, it’s OK to let them drop sometimes.
xo
once upon a time, the stress alone would have been crippling, but if we don’t forgive ourselves every so often, how can we be there for others when they need help too? It’s part of that ‘take care of ourselves’ piece that women need to be reminded of I suppose 😉
Just wanted to drop a note – fyi sounds like your daughter is in a state similar to sleepwalking. If thats the case, then just say its time for them to go to bed. The hypnotic suggestion has always worked for my daughter, she’d just roll over and go back to sleep or march right back upstairs and go back to bed. My daughter would have those even til she was perhaps 10.
thanks Karen, that’s likely what it was like (my sister had it growing up so I’m used to it 😉 I offered her to sit up and have water then to go back to sleep, after she drank, she went back to sleep without issue!