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A Little Bit of Momsense by Rebecca Stanisic
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first day of school

2 Min Read February 7, 2013 2 Replies

Kindergarten Registration

Parenting

So. It’s official. Today I handed in the last piece of paperwork to officially register my daughter for JK in the fall.

My baby.

My last child.

Off to school. Big kid school.

WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?

Now, the one thing that is saving me from an emotional breakdown right now is that she is still in a half day program. This means school from 8-10:30, 5 days a week.  It’s a small amount of time, she’s more than ready for it (as demonstrated by her love for preschool) and I will still be able to hang out with her.

But this still signifies a great change for me.  Most people assume that my hesitation to see my kids off into the world is because I will sit at home pining for them and clock watching. While the latter part may be true, there’s no doubt that I can fill the time rather easily.

Take your pick of activities that I should (and likely will) be doing while they are both in school: baking, cleaning, gym, tv watching, reading, writing, working on this blog, working on contracts, coffee with friends, shopping, grocery shopping, appointments and so on.

Don’t think for  a moment that I’m worried about filling the time.  What I am most worried about is filling the space in my heart that will be slightly emptied as my house is.

She’s ready.  Even more so than her brother was (and frankly, he’s been doing very well with full day grade 1).  6 years ago when I quit work and was about to have my first baby I always knew this day would come.  When I would shift from officially being a stay-at-home mom with kids underfoot to being a stay at home…something.

It’s exciting.  And I’m excited for her.  But I’ve never been one to embrace change I’m afraid.

My baby is going to school.   Am I really ready?

2 Min Read September 4, 2012 1 Reply

The First Day of School: Mama survived and what his take on it was

Kids, Parenting

The first day was a roaring success.  Once all of us got over the shock of arriving to a herd of people standing outside of the school, then being ushered to the gym to find the list with his teacher and saying goodbyes while our big grade one students walked to their rooms, we did ok.

I found solace in being away all day.  I did errands (including Starbucks and Chapters) with my daughter who loves to bound around town.  Tomorrow we are staying home though, which means as bad as I was clock watching while out and about, tomorrow may be worse.

But it was great.  His teacher seems nice, we’ve always enjoyed the school and most importantly he seems happy.

When asked about his day he wasn’t sure what he had done.  Although he was quick to tell everyone who spoke to him that he gets TWO RECESSES!! AND TWO SNACK TIMES!  This has been a highlight (no surprises).

He seemed happy to be back with his friends and it was an adorable reunion when he saw familiar faces in the morning.  Although a stinging (but positive) sign was when he quickly let go of my hand to walk over to the group of friends.  See ya ma.

I’m excited for him.  Happy he will be comfortable and that day one at least went well.  Now, how many more days until summer vacation?

Ohhh and right, lunches.  So ya, this won’t be fun.  I mean, I think it’s the preparedness that I have to get used to.  If we want to make pancakes for lunch I can decide that at 11 but now if he wants pancakes I have to pre-make them etc. Not the end of the world, if I’m prepared.  But some days, we aren’t very prepared.

Today’s lunch was pretty simple and he ate it so that’s also a good sign.  Love all of my reusable containers!

lunch containers have been purchased from www.naylanaturalcare.com

He had: Water, grapes, tuna sandwich, yogurt (not seen), crackers (not seen), mini chocolate chip cookies and there were carrots when this picture was taken but I took those out to make room for the other stuff.  Tomorrow he’ll get the carrots.

I hope school continues to go this well!!

ps: thank you for all your words of encouragement dear readers.  I needed it and really really appreciated not feeling alone.

3 Min Read September 3, 2012 11 Replies

The start of Grade 1 is tomorrow not Thursday – and it hurts my heart

Kids, Parenting

All summer I had September 6 in my head.  When people asked when school started I said September 6.  Everything was planned around it starting on Thursday, September 6.  When we had a play date on Friday, I said to my friend “maybe we can do another early in the week before school”.  My teacher-sister asked “why is it September 6? No one is starting September 6” and since she’s in a difference school board I said ‘well WE are. Hooray for us’.

Another friend of mine messaged me on Sunday and suggested we meet at the school on Tuesday to drop the kids off.  I laughed and, because I’m a cocky smart a$$, messaged back ‘sure, if you mean Thursday’ snicker snicker snicker. My friend must be confused.

Then she messaged me back ‘um. Tuesday’.

I says pardon?

She sent me the school board link.  September 4.  I go to the school website (which I was JUST on to get drop off info). September 4.

My entire summer shrank in an instant.  I lost 2 full days.  My long weekend was going to merge right into the start of school.  I may be prepared with all of my items purchased but I am in no way emotionally ready.

He starts grade 1 this year, and to add fuel to my poor mama heart fire, it’s the first time I will experience full days.

On top of missing him and making plans during the day with out him, I get to worry that he’s eating enough, and happy and learning and having fun.  All when I can’t help guide him or console him.

Some will roll their eyes.  I’m sure I’m a ‘helicopter’ mom somewhere to them.  It’s not that I want him attached via leash to me.  It’s that I will genuinely miss him.  I know he’ll do well – but when? Right away? What if he’s sad?

When his heart breaks mine shatters.  

I’ve been a stay at home mom with him for nearly 6 years.  Most of my days are designed around each of my kids being with me.  Where we go, when we do it.  That’s all about to change.

So Thursday would have been nice. Instead, I wake up tomorrow with a grade 1 guy.  Yes, he seems prepared and happy and ready.  He’s anxious to go, ready to see his friends and since we don’t talk about our worries around him he seems pretty oblivious to what’s ahead.

Meanwhile, I’m a mess.  Everything is about to change.  Yes, I know he’ll be fine. Yes, logically I know he’s not the first kid to do this and I will be fine.  I have no doubt my days will be plenty busy and my daughter and I will continue having our own adventures.

But no one prepares us as parents for letting go of our kids, even if in some small way.  I’m not prepared.  And truthfully? I wouldn’t have been prepared come Thursday either.

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