Last year, around Christmas time, my dad made the stuffing (dressing) as he always has for decades. It’s basically the perfect stuffing that I hold all others up to.
A few days before the meal (that my parents annually host), he sent a Facebook Message to say that the stuffing was done. He also said that someone else should learn to do it too. I joked back that there was no need. He was great at it and it gave him something to do (I said with a wink).
I didn’t know it would be our last Christmas with him. And the last time he made stuffing. There were a lot of lasts we didn’t know were happening. And now we have a lot of firsts we don’t want.
Maybe we should have known better – by then, we knew he was sick but he was in active treatment that had been working – but that’s what denial and hope sometimes does.
I’ve made his stuffing before but rarely. While Andy and I have been hosting Thanksgiving for family at least a dozen times in the past 20 years (if not more, with varying crowd sizes), dad still made the stuffing to bring to the dinner.
In 2019, my parents travelled Europe so I hosted family but was left to make the stuffing. He had jokingly/not jokingly offered to make it and freeze it before their trip. I declined with thanks.
Instead, I used Facebook Messenger again to ask him for the ingredients and recipe a few days before company was coming. I sent him a photo when it was done and got his approval that it looked good. I felt I had underseasoned it.
His recipe had ingredients but no amounts. It was all done by feel it seemed and depending on how much he was making. Thanksgiving traditionally required less than Christmas dinner. There were a lot ‘some of this’ and ‘about this much’ in the instructions.
This past Thanksgiving, we were hosting our first one without him. Left again to make the stuffing, I pulled up the old Facebook messages that I had forgotten that I had until I searched the words. There again were the ‘instructions’. So my mom and I spent time to sort of piece it together.
My daughter joined us at my mom’s house and the three of us set out to try, taste and approximate dad’s stuffing as close as we could. We consulted my aunt for additional guidance.
With his previous messages, our memories, and our taste buds, we made a pretty close attempt.
It wasn’t the same, let’s be honest, but it was close. And done with his spirit in our hearts. It was quite good.
Thanksgiving was just a trial run though for the big show anyway – Christmas, where even more family will gather.
But we have a plan, we have the ingredients. We know what we’ll change in December. We tried, and that would have made him happy I think. Even if his remains the ultimate best. Because it is. It was.
I’m now going to write down the ‘recipe’ so that we have something to refer to in the future. I’ll need to remember the amounts. It’s not the same. But nothing is anymore, you know?
Savoury Stuffing
2 large onions, diced
3/4 pound butter
3 loaves of whole wheat bread (not fresh)
3 pounds of potatoes (this may be adjusted still)
3.5 tsps of summer savoury (or more to taste)
Pepper to taste
Directions:
Pulse the bread in a food processor. Set aside
Boil potatoes. Mash.
In a pan on the stove, Melt butter and add the chopped onions.
Add in savoury
add the ‘wet’ mixture to the bread.
slowly stir in mashed potatoes, until well blended.
Season with pepper.
