I get it. It’s almost like instinct to say sorry even for the most minor of inconveniences. We do it all the time.
I suspect many of you, like me, will say sorry for no apparent reason, almost like a preemptive sorry being sent out into the void to ask the great nothingness to accept your apology before you accidentally bump into someone, or show up a few minutes late, or interrupt another person. How many times a day do you find yourself saying sorry?
It’s the polite thing to do, saying sorry.
But parents, we need to stop. Even though I recognize this habit in myself, I really notice it when fellow parents are saying sorry to me.
I’m not saying to stop saying sorry when we really should – to our kids, our spouses, our friends – there are times that the word needs to be said.
But for some things, we need to shelve the word.
Why should we stop saying sorry?
Because I don’t want you apologizing if your child is having a temper tantrum. Been there, done that. I promise you aren’t alone.
I get it, it can feel stressful, but unless you are letting your kiddo throw the entire collection of breakables I have on my shelf during this tantrum without stopping her, it’s all good. Kids have tantrums. No apologies necessary.
Please don’t be sorry for the state of your house. Any state. I say sorry for this all the time. Even when my house is clean and company arrives I find myself saying sorry.
For what? Having a home that is well loved and lived in?
For the piles of markers and paper that sit in many corners of the house because the kids are constantly creating?
For the random socks that are on the floor because the kids never seem to take them off near a laundry hamper? Okay, that last one maybe could actually be dealt with, but still. You know what I’m saying.
Our home, and your home, is where we are raising children, and as fellow parents arrive with their arms filled with play things for the play date, or a diaper bag, or their own child who didn’t want to walk in from the car, none of us in that moment are worried about the piles of dishes in the sink.
Honestly, I’m probably just happy to be at your house and out of my own for a bit. Please don’t apologize.
We are just happy to see another adult while our kids entertain themselves and we have an actual conversation.
We need to stop saying sorry for what we are wearing or how we look. Because I didn’t notice the stain on your shirt until you pointed it out (and even then, I didn’t care), and maybe you’d prefer to have a salon straightened hair do (I know I want that for me) but your top knot is great because I’m not even thinking about that.
The apology list goes on and one sometimes.
So let’s stop apologizing for things we really don’t need to be sorry for.
Let’s embrace the time we have, pour another cup of coffee and let the kids pull out the entire costume bin in our basement to play dress up. They love it, and we’ll enjoy our time together.
But don’t you day say sorry when you leave. Your company is better than a thousand reasons to say sorry.
