You’ll notice that specific stories about my kids aren’t frequent on this blog. There are, of course, stories about our family adventures, activities to do with the kids, and definitely stories about my feelings as a mom, but the anecdotal stories about my two kids aren’t readily given. That’s always been a bit about how this blog has been, because we decide to keep a lot of their actions at a bit of a distance. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been sharing how I feel as they grow. Those are the stories I relay often.
We hit another family milestone today and it’s worth a blog post. Because for many of you, who have been reading this blog since my daughter was a baby and I was at home with her and my toddler son, you’ll understand why I’m all about the feelings today. Many of you are probably at the same stage.
Today we went to the school to celebrate the end of the school year, and his graduation from grade 6 into grade 7, which also happens to mean he’s leaving our current school for another.
Phew. That’s a lot right? It must be a lot because I had many lovely messages from people asking me how I was feeling.
I’m feeling a lot.
And it’s one other reason why I wanted to share this with you. Because I’ve written about these feelings many, many times before.
There have been many milestones that have sent me to my keyboard.
Like when I wrote about how I was feeling before preschool began.
“I am a mess. I wish I could say a hot mess, but I don’t think I’m even that. Just a mess.”
Or when I felt better after his first day:
“‘Wait!’ I said. ‘Mommy wants a kiss!’. He dutifully came over and kissed me goodbye, the same for daddy. We said we’d be back soon. He walked holding the teacher’s hand into the classroom, and as I stared at him he didn’t even look back.
I made it to the van before I cried.”
And you may remember when after a few months of preschool drop off was suddenly difficult again:
“Parenting sucks. Because no matter how much you try to protect your kids or give them a world of experience, you can stop a little broken heart. And you learn quickly your heart is forever tied to that little heart and you will always feel their pain, on top of your own.”
And after some tricky transitions in kindergarten, when drop off still didn’t go smoothly, I wrote about some tips I had learned.
” There were some days that I left him at the teacher’s side with tears in his eyes. Other days were fine. Other days we both were crying.
This went on for weeks, and just when we thought we had a good routine, an extended weekend would happen and starting over was tricky.
But we did it. He did it. And we had many many successful days. I do have a few tricks that I’ve learned to help our little ones transition whether it’s the start of preschool or kindergarten.”
I’ve always had many feelings about school.
There were plenty of stories and experiences in between those years that we have muddled through, as best we can, with his interests at heart. That’s what parenting is – one day at a time, a new experience every day, but each decision is one made with love.
Today, I couldn’t help but reflect on all of his school experiences over the past many years. I’ve shared before how grateful I am to have had so many teachers and administrators who have been so kind and gentle with him, but push him when needed because he has so much potential.
He’s also had some wonderful friends around him that are lovely young people and who I look to when the world seems so distressed – because if these students are our future, I feel much more hope.
I do want to share how proud I am of him, of the leadership he’s shown, of his public speaking abilities, how jealous I am that he can make a google slide show presentation look a thousand times better than when I try to do one.
I want to share that he may be a quiet soul but inside him burns a hunger for knowledge and meaning and that’s the fire I want him to bring into this world.
Today my eldest celebrated his Grade 6 year and is preparing to go to grade 7. While his school experience changes from year to year, I hope he continues to grow, learn and push himself to be the best person he wants to be. Because to us, he’s everything.
So yes. Grade 6 leaving ceremony.
I am feeling a lot.
